


The Prince and the Dog

by danehemmings



Series: Kakashi/Obito Drabbles [16]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, M/M, fairytale AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danehemmings/pseuds/danehemmings
Summary: The Princess and the Frog, except Obito is a prince and Kakashi was turned into a dog.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito
Series: Kakashi/Obito Drabbles [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/589894
Comments: 3
Kudos: 144





	The Prince and the Dog

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure nonsense, but it was fun to write. Hope everyone is doing well right now!

Obito was going to lose his mind. Madara had been droning on for the last hour about upholding family values and ensuring the continuation of the Uchiha line. Obito doesn’t give a shit about the family line. He just wants to fuck off into the void and leave this all behind. He doesn’t want to be King, to rule this crap land and all its crappy people.

“Are you listening to me, nephew?” Madara growls. “You’re my last heir alive and you have duties to attend to! Make sure you look sharp tonight.”

The door slams behind him. Obito wasn’t listening, but then again he never does. He flops down onto his bed. Nothing in the world would make him dress sharp tonight. He’s going to wear his ugliest tunic, get drunk, and flirt heavily with all the guards until Madara whacks him over the head.

He must fall asleep, because the next thing he knows the sun has nearly dipped below the horizon and there’s a loud noise at both of his doors. Obito rubs at his eyes. 

At his room door, of course, is his uncle’s favorite servant knocking furiously and wailing that he had better get dressed and down to the ball. Obito’s lucky that Iruka is too polite to barge in.

At his balcony door, is one of the ugliest dogs he has ever laid eyes on. It’s one of the ones that run around the back alleys of the city, with only a few white tufts of fur on its head, and the rest a hairless grey. This one is also missing an eye, and fairly recently, from the looks of it.

Obito knows a hideous dog when he sees one, but he’s not heartless (or in a hurry to get to the ball) so he goes to the balcony and lets the dog in. The thing rushes past him and makes straight for the wine pitcher.

“Huh,” Obito frowns as he watches the dog tip the pitcher over and start lapping frantically at it. That’ll stain his carpet. Iruka’s knocking gets louder.

“Uh, stay,” Obito waves at the dog as he goes to the door. The dog gives him a mean look and goes back to its wine. Iruka looks ready to cry with relief when he opens the door.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” Obito says.

“Very good, my prince,” Iruka smiles as though there weren't any tears in the corners of his eyes and rushes to inform Madara.

Obito hurries to pull on his shit-brown tunic and the hot pink trousers Rin had gifted him. He sets a bowl down on and pours what’s left of the wine into it for the dog. The mutt eyes him suspiciously as he reaches a hand out to scratch its ears, but otherwise ignores him. The fur on its head is so matted that Obito has to pat it awkwardly instead, but the dog doesn’t seem to care. It laps at the wine. 

“I’ll be back later,” Obito tells it. “Maybe I’ll bring something for your eye.” The poor mutt really seemed in bad shape, but Obito wasn’t hard pressed to seek out Madara’s favorite doctor. That man would probably just kill the dog for fun.

~~

Obito was well and truly drunk, and had accidentally agreed to walk with the lady of somewhere or something-or-other.. They were strolling in the gardens, and the lady seemed pleased to be in his royal presence, even if he kept stumbling into the bushes. Her name was - well, he couldn’t remember.

“You’re so galant,” She preens as he walks straight into a tree. Madara was going to set his ass on fire in the morning. 

“You’re so right,” Obito smiles and puts his arm around her. She’s not as much as a conversationalist as the guards, but then again who could really compare to Genma. No one could flirt like that man.

“It’s a wonder you haven’t married already,” She says. Obito nods absently. They are almost to the edge of the pond that Madara had demanded to be installed last year. It was in the shape of the Uchiha crest, and might be Obito’s favorite place in this godforsaken castle. 

Especially now, when he needed to get his ass onto one of the benches beside it. He knows the way to his spot blindfolded, and so even drunk he doesn’t bother to look before sinking down onto the bench. Whats-her-name shrieks and jumps backwards.

“What the hell is that?”

Obito looks beside him. The ugly dog from before is staring at him.

“Hello,” Obito greets it. He shoves a hand in his pocket, “I got this for you.”

He drops a slab of steak in front of the mutt. Whats-her-name gasps. The dog growls in her direction, and then nips at the meat.  
“I’ve- I’ve got to be going now!” What’s-her-name says. Obito waves as she hurries away. Madara will be infuriated that he’s scared his suitor away. It’s bittersweet to think about. The dog is making disgusting wet noises as it eats. Obito pats it’s matted fur.

“Your eye looks worse,” He tells it. “You wanna find a doctor?”

No answer. But then again, Obito is talking to a dog. “Alright, then,” He says, “Let’s just stay here awhile.”

~~

Obito accidentally fell asleep again. When he wakes up, it’s just starting to get light out again. There’s a crick in his neck and the mutt is sleeping on his chest. It reeks. Obito can’t let the poor thing suffer anymore. He carefully wraps his arms around the dog and heads towards Orochimaru’s tower. 

When he gets there, Orochimaru is already awake and sticking his face over some bubbling green liquid.

“Good morning, my prince,” The doctor greets him. Obito grunts in response. “The King seems to be upset with you.” 

“Another ball failed,” Obito says, “Surprisingly, I’m still not interested in women.”

Orochimaru covers the green goop and looks up at him. “You’ve turned to dogs now?”

Obito hugs the mutt closer to his chest. “No.” Orochimaru grins at him. Obito has heard rumors about Orochimaru and snakes, and so he almost considers turning his ass around and going to the city’s doctor instead. Then he remembers that there are similar rumors about himself.

“Can you help him?” Obito says. 

“Are you going to let me look at him?” Orochimaru steps closer, and Obito has to fight the instinct to step back. Orochimaru examines the mutt the best he can while Obito has it tucked into his chest. 

Orochimaru lets out a giggle. 

“Excuse me?” Obito says. 

Orochimaru shakes his head. “I’m not treating him until he goes back to his original form.”

“You’re going to let this dog suffer?” Obito feels outraged.

“He’s not a dog, your highness.” Orochimaru goes back to the goop. “Someone’s put a spell on him. It should wear off in a day or so, and then I can treat him.”

A spell. Orochimaru can fuck off, because magic is a myth. He goes to the city doctor instead, who is rightfully terrified to be in the presence of Madara Uchiha’s relative, although Obito is unsure of how intimidating he looks while clutching a small dog in hot pink pants. But the woman does her job, and the mutt looks much healthier as Obito takes him back into his quarters in the castle.

It’s got an eye patch now, but it’s fur tufts are no longer matted together. The dog woke up somewhere between Orochimaru’s and the city doctor’s, but it seemed to be content. Once in Obito’s bedroom, it starts fidgeting in Obito’s arms.

“Here you go,” Obito says, setting the mutt down gingerly. “You can stay here for now, and we’ll see if you turn back into a man.” He doubts Orochimaru is right. Mostly, anyways. The mutt runs about his room as if he’s never seen it before.

He pulls off his drool-stained brown shirt and starts rifling through his clothes. He’s not sure what to go for today- something equally atrocious so he can further infuriate Madara, or something less offensive to keep the lecture to a minimum? He definitely can’t keep these pants on, so he shimmies out of those as well. He notices the mutt has stopped making noise, and so he turns to make sure it hasn’t somehow escaped like the night before. 

It hasn’t, thankfully. The dog is sitting on his bed, staring directly at him. It’s almost creepy, the amount of intensity in that puppy eye. When the dog sees that Obito has noticed the staring, it looks away as if embarrassed. 

“Uh,” Obito says stupidly. If Orochimaru is right, then he has just stripped down to his underwear in front of a random stranger. 

“Magic isn’t real,” Obito assures himself. But he dresses rather quickly after that.

He sets up the dog’s water bowl, as well as a wine bowl, and settles on his bed to wait for Madara. The dog crawls onto his chest again.

“You’re very cute,” Obito tells it. “Maybe I should name you?”

The dog blinks its one eye at him. “Do you already have a name?” Obito asks. The dog nods. Obito has a brief moment of panic, because that was very human-like.

“How about-” The sound of his door slamming open interrupts him. The dog runs at the intruder with a growl.

Madara is a mad-man when he’s angry- it’s how he took over Konoha in the first place. Obito has seen him literally scare a man to death in his fury. Madara angry with an innocent pup rushing at him is something Obito doesn’t want to have to see.

But when Madara spots the dog coming to attack him, all of his evil disappears. He cooes at the animal, and scoops it up into his arms even as the dog snarls and tries to bite him.

“Obito!” Madara exclaims, delighted, “Where did you find this beautiful boy?”

Obito is at a loss for words. The dog has managed to sink its teeth into Madara’s hand, and blood drips onto Obito’s carpet. Madara doesn’t seem to care.

“Is this what scared everyone off yesterday?” Madara asks.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Oh,” Madara kisses the dog’s nose and nearly gets his own nose bitten off. “How adorable!”

“Uh,” Obito gets up from the bed and tries to get the dog out of Madara’s grasp.

“Obito, tell me you love this dog,” Madara says. He refuses to let Obito take the dog back, even as his hands continue to be nipped at.

“Madara, let the poor guy go,” Obito protests. Surprisingly, Madara listens. The dog growls as ferociously as a tiny animal can, and then buries its nose into the crook of Obito’s arm. He takes a few careful steps backwards, in case Madara grabs at the dog again.

“You’ve disappointed me again, you know,” Madara says, beginning the familiar lecture. “The Uchiha family line needs to go on after I’m gone, but the only company you seem to like is old guards or that dog.”

“You could still try for a son, uncle.” Obito says, and he swears the dog laughs. Madara’s eyes linger too long at the sound, and Obito steps back again, only to fall over onto his bed. Yeah, the dog in his arms is laughing.

“I’ve invited over a few more women I think would be a good match for you.” Madara says. “They’ll be here in less than a week, and you better choose one or else I’ll take that dog and chuck it out of the top of Orochimaru’s tower.”

~~

A few days later, Obito is trying to convince the dog to leave for the hundredth time, but it refuses to go anywhere, even when Obito has set it down in the town. Currently, he is dangling the dog over the edge of the balcony, because fuck. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. The dog just looks bored even as Obito threatens him.

“Fuck,” Obito is going to get married because he became attatched to a hideous animal. After nearly 30 years of resistance, this is how it’s going to end?

He carries the dog back inside, and flops down onto the bed. The dog assumes its usual position on Obito’s chest. 

“You’re a piece of shit,” He tells it. The dog pushes its nose against Obito’s. Obito scrunches his nose up, and tries to turn his head away, but the dog moves at just the right moment and Obito ends up pressing his lips against the dog’s mouth.

“Urgh,” Obito says before the dog disappears in a cloud of smoke. A fully grown man appears in its place, whooshing all of the air out of Obito because of his position on Obito’s chest and because the dog man is beautiful. They just sort of stare at each other, before Obito has the presence of mind to close his mouth.

The man rolls over so he’s lying beside Obito instead of on top of him. “Orochimaru caught me trying to steal from his garden and turned me into a dog.”

Obito can’t really process that, because he can’t fucking believe what the fuck just happened.

“I’m Kakashi, by the way.” Kakashi props himself up on an elbow and looks judgingly at Obito with his one eye. Just like the dog did.

“You’ve seen me naked.” Obito is going to straight to the top of Orochimaru’s tower and swan diving into the abyss. Kakashi has the grace to be slightly embarrassed, glancing away for a moment.

“I liked what I saw,” Kakashi says, drawing out the words with a smirk. ‘Oh,’ Obito thinks, followed quickly by, ‘what the fuck.’

“Thank you?” Obito says. He’s unsure how he became so incoherent when he’s spent hundreds of hours flirting with every man invited to Madara’s endless parties. He had the abrupt realization that Kakashi is very naked. “Clothes?” He squeaks.

Kakashi snorts, and grabs whatever pants Obito threw onto the floor last night. They are another gift from Rin, neon green with rainbows stitched onto the backside. Kakashi looks better in them than Obito ever has.

“If you want to skip out on your uncle’s party, maybe we can go grab some dinner in town?” Kakashi says, pulling a rustic orange shirt over his head. He looks at Obito expectantly.

“Sounds nice,” Obito says. A clothed Kakashi is better for his cognitive abilities, so he adds, “Was this the plan all along?”

Kakashi grins, “It’s been the plan since I saw you walk into that tree. Very attractive of you, my prince.”

That really does something to Obito, and they don’t exactly make it into town for dinner, but Madara’s party is ruined all the same when Obito’s potential brides see him strut into the ballroom with his arm around Kakashi’s waist.


End file.
